“When you cannot see what is happening in a group, do not stare harder. Relax and look gently with your inner eye.

When you do not understand what a person is saying, do not grasp for every word. Give up your efforts. Become silent inside and listen with your deepest self.

When you are puzzled by what you see or hear, do not strive to figure things out.  Stand back for a moment and become calm. When a person is calm, complex events appear simple.

To know what is happening, push less, open up and be aware. See without staring. Listen quietly rather than listening hard. Use intuition and reflection rather than trying to figure things out.

The more you let go of trying, and the more open and receptive you become, the more easily you will know what is happening.

Also stay in the present moment. The present is more available than either memories of the past or fantasies of the future.

So attend to what is happening now.”*

I have found this to be true. I have learned that the best thing I can do when things are not going my way is to stop trying so hard. I need to step back, quiet myself, be present, and simply observe. From this emerges a calm heart and clear mind which enables me to take better, more effective action.

*From a chapter entitled “Knowing What is Happening” In The Tao of Leadership by John Heider.