A Memorable Experience

I vividly recall an experience when I lived in Cochabamba, Bolivia (many years ago). My traveling companion and I met a man on a bus who invited us to come to visit his family. We immediately changed our plans and accompanied him to his home. We arrived at a small, adobe-like, two-roomed house. The floors were dirt and the furnishings were few.

Most memorable was the greeting this man (and we) received from his wife and two little boys, about five and three years of age. They boys hollered and jumped up and down as soon as their father walked through the door. Their father picked them up, whirled them around, and gave them both a big squeeze. His wife, preparing dinner in a wood oven, stopped what she was doing, looked at us a little shyly, approached her husband, and gave him a hug. We had such a great time that evening. We ate a simple meal, played with these little boys, and talked to the parents. Such a humble family. So little in the way of material means. But happy. It still brings a smile to my face to think of being in their presence.

I remember sometime later asking the father why they were so happy. He asked me what more he could want. He had a kind wife and two energetic sons, food and shelter, a job, health, good friendships. Life was good. I still have a warm spot in my heart for the Aguado family, whom I’ve not seen in years.

Gratitude and Mental Health

Recent research proves (I know that is a strong word) that people who have grateful hearts are happier, less depressed and less stressed, than those who are less grateful. (1) They report a greater sense of purpose, more control, greater self-acceptance, and more positive ways of coping with difficulties. (2) In short, gratitude is more highly linked with mental health and well-being than any other character trait.

Moreover, gratitude is not only associated with well-being, it causes it. In 2005, Martin Seligman (the father of Positive Psychology) randomly assigned participants to one of six therapeutic interventions designed to improve quality of life. (3) The biggest short-term benefit came from an intervention known as a “gratitude visit” in which participants wrote and then personally delivered a letter of gratitude to someone in their lives. This single act raised the average “happiness score” of these participants by 10%. The results were still in effect a month after the visit.

Another intervention required another group of participants to keep a “gratitude journal” and write down three things they were grateful for every day. These participants’ scores not only increased but continued to increase each time they were tested following the experiment. In fact, the greatest benefits didn’t even occur until around six months after treatment began. Although the participants were only asked to keep their journals for a week, most of them continued long after the study was over.

As I continue to think about this concept of gratitude, I’m aware that I may not have the greatest measure of financial wealth, physical beauty, mental prowess, fame, and so on. But not so gratitude. As I learned from Gilberto Aguado and his family, gratitude is available, in abundance, to all of us, if we’re willing to access, cultivate, and develop this gift, one of the greatest sources of happiness.

So I’m curious. What are you grateful for? Share your thoughts.

References:

(1) McCullough, M. E., Emmons, R. A., & Tsang, J. (2002). The grateful disposition: A conceptual and empirical topography. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82, 112-127 and Wood, A. M., Joseph, S., & Maltby, J. (2008). Gratitude uniquely predicts satisfaction with life: Incremental validity above the domains and facets of the Five Factor Model. Personality and Individual Differences, 45, 49-54.

(2) Wood, A. M., Joseph, S. & Maltby (2009). Personality and Individual Differences, 45, 655-660. Gratitude predicts psychological well-being above the Big Five facets. 

(3) Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N.,& Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60, 410-421.