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Are You The Friend a Friend Would Like to Have?

We’ve been talking about how you can attain self actualization, and specifically, right now, we’re taking a look at some of the important relationships that can make or break us.  Take this quiz about your friendships to highlight some of the areas that might need work.For each of the statements, answer True, False, or Sort of:

  1. I suspect my friends of doing sneaky things to help me, like slipping money in my purse or saying positive things about me to others.
  2. I have certain friends that I connect with right away, even if we haven’t seen each other for weeks or years.
  3. I can safely have conflicts with my best friends, knowing the friendship can easily bear the strain.
  4. If I say the word “Help,” there are people who will hear me and respond.
  5. I look forward to getting together with friends for social activities.
  6. I have different friends for different interests, but I wouldn’t be embarrassed if their friends crossed paths.
  7. I can think of several occasions where a friend needed me and I dropped everything and went.
  8. I can think of times when a friend expressed displeasure with me, and I saw his point and corrected my behavior.
  9. My friend knows I’m not into a certain activity that she loves, but she calls on me to participate from time to time and I step in with pretty good grace.
  10. I know things about some of my friends that no one else knows, and I’ve never revealed them.

The more “true” responses you were able to give, the stronger your network of friendships is.    Run through the questions and answers again, and ask yourself whether your satisfied with the kinds of people you associate with, the shared mutual interests and activities, the mutual support, and the degree of intimacy in your friendships.

“A friend,” says Donna Roberts, “knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”  Do you have friends who can sing your heart song?  Are you that kind of friend to others?  If this is a weak area in your self actualization profile, come back tomorrow and I’ll give you some tips to strengthen your friendships into powerful life alliances.


Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. is an expert in personal transformation, leadership, and teams. His tools and methods have helped hundreds of businesses and tens of thousands of people transform the ways they work and live. To learn more, visit www.rogerkallen.com.

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