I wrote about Eduardo in my last newsletter, an example of a man who lives a simple life and yet comes from total gratitude and goodwill. I cannot be in Eduardo’s presence without feeling blessed.
What is it About Eduardo?
What is it about him? He certainly has problems. He’s told me about them. In fact, I feel fortunate that I don’t live in his social and financial circumstances.
Maybe it’s that he doesn’t have a lot of responsibilities pressing down on his shoulders. His job is pretty routine. But, as I think about it, I know others who are pretty free from heavy career and social responsibilities. Some seem content. Others more negative, even cynical. Many bored. But, I can’t think of many (if any) who radiate the cheer and goodwill of Eduardo, who make you feel like a million bucks simply by being in their presence.
So, what is it about Eduardo?
As I think about my life, I recognize that my mood, my happiness, my well-being are often the effect of “outside”—events, circumstances, other people. So life is an emotional roller coaster.
Eduardo got off of the roller coaster. That certainly doesn’t mean he doesn’t have times when he feels down. I’m sure he does. But I’ll bet they don’t last long. He lives from the “inside out.”
A Decision
Eduardo has made a decision about how he wants to live. He wants to be happy. He wants to be positive…kind…generous. He told me he wasn’t always that way. He decided.
And by the way, deciding isn’t like turning on a light switch. (I wish it were that easy.) But I can say that it begins with a decision. And then the work follows. The work of letting go of being, feeling or acting like a victim of events, circumstances and other people. The work of taking full responsibility for what is happening, seeing your part in the matter, making new choices.
Eduardo got this. I’ll bet it was tough early on. He woke up realizing his wife had left him, feeling sorry for himself. He dragged himself out of bed to what he considered a lousy job. He barely had the money to pay the bills. He lived in nothing more than a shanty, to boot. His kids complained, made demands. It seemed no one cared what he was going through. Life certainly didn’t.
But he knew it started on the inside. Life happened. And he started to make choices. He learned that his choices made a difference. Maybe no one else got it at first. In fact, maybe he even had to stop trying to make others get it. Then he could really let go, forgive, stop the suffering, move on.
Deciding leads to Abundance
A slow process, but rewarding. He felt better about himself. He took back control over his life. His ability to choose was bigger than what was happening. He didn’t have to get hooked by other people. He could find a semblance of peace even when others were upset. He could respond from compassion rather than fear or hostility. Life was getting better…and better. He saw the goodness instead of bad. And he felt deep gratitude its abundance.
And, over time, the abundance became so big that it spilled over into his relationships. Others felt his joy and goodwill. They thought it was mystical, almost magic. But no matter what it was, they loved to be around him. Here was someone giving without a hidden motive. No thought of what he would receive in return. Just the joy of sharing his joy about the abundance of his life. As I call it in The Hero’s Choice, a man living from the paradigm of “serenity.” A way of living that comes from deciding.
Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. is an expert in personal transformation, leadership, and teams. His tools and methods have helped hundreds of businesses and tens of thousands of people transform the ways they work and live. To learn more, visit www.theheroschoice.com.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks